I See. I Like. I Blog.
It’s stuffy, it’s dark. There’re no windows to look out from, and it’s cramp-y in here — take 5 steps in any direction and you’ll end up kissing the walls!
But you want to know what’s the worst part? Motion sickness!
Ho-yeah, let me tell you… I get rolled-tossed-spun-twisted-shaken-and-stirred more times than a laundry in the washer. One time, some idiot even had the audacity to use me as a bowling pin hey, you mind? I’m trying to color my nails here!
And in all those times I got ‘picked up’, you’d think somebody anybody would have the smarts to pop the damn cork off the bottle and let me out…?
No… There I was — shouting screaming kicking puking my guts out to get their attention and what did those blockheads do? They just put me down right back where they found me and walked away! What’s the matter with you people anyway? Haven’t you heard of Genie in a Bottle? Christina Aguilera…Aladdin…Robin Williams…?!
Woe it’s me — a wonderful, kind-hearted, generous Genie, who longs to feel the sun on her face, wind in her hair, sand between her toes, and … there isn’t a stupid thing I can do to get out of this mess 😦
I’m like a single cornflake floating aimlessly in a bowl of milk… Someone please, come rescue me!
Whoops! Wait — who’s out there…? What’re you doing, Man?
No no no you’re doing it wrong! Read the Instructions on the label!
Oh! Just use the bottle-opener, will you?
Yes! Yes! One more time. Almost there…
Oh Yes…! You did it, you beautiful human you!
FREEDOM AT LAST thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
Give you what?!
Three Wishes? You want me – to grant you – three wishes? Where’d you get that idea from? Disneyland? Why would I want to do that…?
Oh okay okay, I hear ya! You set me loose, I grant you 3 wishes. Sure, why not.
Just remember: I don’t do windows or floors, and I’m not feeding you peeled grapes while you watch TV!
So, what’ll it be.