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I Hate Cockroaches.
I am terrified of them.
If you ask me to name the one thing I’m afraid of, it’s a cockroach. Heck, I can even draw up a list for you of a thousand and one things I fear most, and that list will begin and end with cockroaches.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been scared of creepy crawlies. But roaches top the list. The “Asian” specie in particular, is one scary-looking dude; with those bulging compound eyes on blackish-brown body with long feelers. Eee, just writing this makes my skin crawl..
Reminds me of the time when I had to paint a living object for my art exam paper. The students weren’t told what the object would be until the day of the examination. Skipping the editorials, I can tell you this much: I left the exam hall very early that day!
Adult cockroach, teenage cockroach, baby cockroach, they all give me the creeps. And the dead ones look all the more creepy, lying on its back with those black hairy little legs up in the air.
I could smell them even before I see them. They let out this yucky odor, putrid and stinky, probably as a defense mechanism to keep predators (and me) away. I’d be on high alert then, in case one of ’em decide to come out and ‘greet’ me.
Did you know cockroaches react to vibration? This comes from experience, okay, not some book on insects. When you see a cockroach and want to shoo it away, Never.Ever. stomp your foot on the floor coz it’ll come charging straight at you! But if you have to do it, then better make sure you have an escape route laid out first. That thing moves at lightning speed.
And they come in pairs, too. Oh yes, those rascals have partners. Trust me. You kill one, and there’ll be another lurking nearby ready to pounce on you, to avenge his buddy’s death.
Some can even Fly. Those are the worst kind – very agressive and much more difficult to get rid of. If you find yourself in the middle of their flight paths, don’t be a hero. Just get out of the way coz you don’t want to have one of ’em land on your head, and get tangled up in your hair. I’d die if that happened to me.
There were a lot of times when I had the misfortune of crossing paths with a cockroach. Once at the science lab in school when we were asked to identify insects’ compound eyes – through a microscope! Oh No Thank You! I’ll just look it up in picture books if you don’t mind, Teacher. Even if you’ll pay me a million bucks, there’s no way I’m gonna go near that thing, dead or alive.
Another time, in college, my flat mates pulled a cruel prank on me by putting a couple of live big ones in a plastic bag and stuffed ’em in my shoes. I was about to put one foot in when I heard the familiar scratchy sound. I did not speak to them for a week.
I can never forget this other close encounter, when a monster of a cockroach decided to hitch a ride in a cab, with me in the back seat! Long story short, the ride ended with one panic-stricken passenger, and a very annoyed cabbie who was forced to pull over and hunt down an insect.
I’m always on the lookout for them anywhere I go, and sometimes I’d imagine the worst places to be confronted with one, like in an elevator, for instance. The thought of being boxed in in a 4 by 6 with 10 more floors to go… O God Have Mercy on me!
I am so getting a nightmare tonight. Heh.